What do I do?

One thing ive never been good at is consoling. ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS RELATED TO SOMETHING THAT IS SO TRIVIALLY PERSONAL THAT IVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY OR DO TO MAKE IT FEEL A BIT BETTER.

I wish theres a way I could help you. Emphatize and aid you. Things in my head arent very good. Theyre most probably wrong. So what can I do? I love you. Yet Im so useless.

Adam made me a poem.

The Boy Who Fell Too Fast.(made for dan dan  ) : 

falling, wailing and begging for your calling.

Why won't you notice my pleas?, 

won't you just let this heart be at rest Please!.

Can't you just not be such a tease, 

and give me a hint even if you're displeased,

you have already have my heart seized.

So why don't you treat it right for once,

and stop testing me like a dunce,

I've tried proving my worth to you and a few.

Yet nothing changes,

throughout all our exchanges,
I'm an open book and you've seen all my pages.

Yes I'm willing to wait forever,

however,

I can't take the way you overlook me whatsoever.

you trust me,

don't you always agree?

then why won't you let me inside to see?

All I want to do is make you my bride,

and always be by your side.....

If you trust me to be alongside.

Ive never had anyone make one fr me..

I had an argument (still at it actually) abt me being her bf, me changing fr the better and stuff. I nvr win arguments with her. Not that I cant, well most of the time i cant, its coz i dont wanna hurt her feelings more than I do. Im not worth it, not even close so it seems. It makes me wonder if all the things ive done fr her are futile. I need to step up my game. Learn faster, change faster, before i lose her. If i lost her, ill lose most of my soul. Darn it Dan! WHY ARE YOU SO PATHETIC?!

I..

Darn I miss her.

And that, was the title of this particular rant.
So, the week has started quite well. I got to meet her for a few days straight. Awesomeee~
She's been busy tho. Darn, at least she's getting some decent honest pay. What about me? Can't even get my life straight.
Oh, this girl isn't my girl. Not yet at least. Idk. Im being optimistic. But she is considered to be my closest friend as of date. My best of besfriends so to speak. I really cant hide anything at all from her. I do wish she's feel the same fr me someday.

Assignments been piling up. Finals are in two weeks. Lotsa stuff to do for projects. Sigh. Im getting real tired of all this. I often wonder if Im in the right course or am I just wasting away. I dont know. I love travelling. I love adventures. But i love art too. My parents (and teachers) tells me im good with writing and language. English. I suck in other languages. Even malay. =.= Im trying to learn mandarin tho. Its proving to be harder than i thought with all the other stuff i have to do.

My current addiction : MaiMai. Its an arcade game. I literally spend on this game. What it is is basically a rhythm based game machine. It has a circular screen and 8 button pads equally distributed on the sides. You could use the screen too to tap the incoming circles that signify notes as you play based on the chosen song. I was introduced to it by her. At first, i played just cause I agreed to give it a try. After some time (and thought that this was one of the things I can do to bond with her >.>), I became addicted. I started going out on my own to play it. Of course, being malay, not speaking in mandarin and not having that many friends dont really help. I often have to go with her so that I could actually play or these 'hoggers' wouldnt bat an eye that Ive been waiting in line for god knows how long.

Money's becoming a major issue lately. Payments here and there, price hikes. Im barely surviving the month. I tend to cut down on food to support other things like entertainment and equipments. Im looking for odd jobs that could provide me decent pay as i cant procure a job that has a fixed timetable. Darn. I so wanna save up for a holiday..

My texting method has changed lately. I dont do the .. anymore. Hardly. Well mostly coz she says its a bad thing. Idk. If she says it is, it is. Ive grown to trust her judgement. Sigh. I didnt plan to write this about her. Not working out too well.

Oh, I didnt mention it earlier. Im typing this without backspacing anything. Typos, wrong sentences. Im just gonna run straight through. If I backspace, i might just erase an entire paragraph. Itll ruin the purpose of all this.

That should be enough.

Thats all folks~ Thanks for reading.
Leave a comment if you'd like to provide any inputs.
Until next time. Goodnight.

Well then..

First post in years. Well ill make this a short one. I have been in need of a place to vent out my thoughts. So here, ill write stories, ill write things in my head, ill post pictures. Here is where almost everything Im thinking of will be put into words and graphics. That should be it. Till next time.